I. Am. EXHAUSTED.

I learned this week that Gavin doesn't necessarily need 2 naps anymore. Oh if we really wanted to he could take 2 naps, but neither would be for very long. In my usual effort to be consistent with what he gets at daycare, I adjusted my weekend thought process about what I'd need to get done and when to accomodate this change in his schedule.

Don't get me wrong, a huge part of me is THRIIIIIIIIIIIILLED to be liberated from the house for a few more hours, especially in the morning. :) Today being the first day though for me on his "new" schedule I am just utterly exhausted. Didn't help that I woke up around 4:00 and couldn't go back to sleep. Here's a summary taste of what I've done so far today to wear both Gavin and I out:

After showering and dressing, I cleaned the kitchen and vacuumed the downstairs. Then it was time to get Gavin up, dressed and fed. Shortly after he finished breakfast we head out to the grocery store to get some desperately needed shopping done. He was soooooooo good at the store!!!! Then back home to unload and put things away before getting back into the car, this time to the zoo (by now it's 10:00 in case you're wondering). We wander around the zoo for an hour and a half and he eats his lunch while checking out the elephants and giraffes. I could tell he was getting tired because he wasn't as anxious to be out of the stroller. Although he loved the big cat house and ran around that for a good 15-20 minutes. I know I did a good job tiring him when less than 5 minutes into the car ride home I glance back and he's passed out in the backseat (yay Mama!). As soon as we get home he goes to bed and I finally eat my own lunch, get some laundry started, clean up dog vomit (thank you Monte), mop the floors (which I was going to do anyway) and try to relax a little. I'm still hoping to make a couple half pans of enchiladas for the freezer today but I can feel my energy easily seeping out of my pores with every movement so I'm trying to conserve for when he gets up.

Gotta get used to this. Tomorrow there's this children's clothing resale at a local high school that I've been looking forward to but I've also been thinking that a trip to the library would be fun too. We'll see how the morning goes. :)

I don't normally do this...

Normally I don't even go there when it comes to anything remotely political. However I found this article very interesting.

What are your thoughts?

Morning paper

"Whoa...

...check out this article Dad!"

Audition

The other day Gavin and I decided to tape his audition as the next host for How to Boil Water. Please feel free to give feedback on our little budding chef. :)

Bring it

And then the washing machine clogged (thankfully briefly) and didn't drain a load properly or completely. Very nearly had a gigantic mess on my hands.

I'm trying

Most days I can hold it together. We have a 1,500 sq foot house, 2 cats, 1 large dog and an almost 14-month-old. We both work, me practically full-time (36 hours/week). People have asked me how I do it. I don't know, I really don't know what to say. And then there are days like today when I'm just not sure I can do it anymore.

Our cats have been using the basement floor as their litterbox periodically. Of their 3 favorite pee spots, we're down to only eradicating 1 with bleach (it's partially under the washing machine, which is difficult to pour bleach under). And then today I found a pile of poop, fresh, which they haven't done in a while and I've completely fallen apart. I'm tired. I'm frustrated. My kid is crabby with teething and God knows what else. I got a flat tire yesterday. I'm out of food because we need to go grocery shopping but won't do so until Saturday. Rob doesn't know what to do with me and I feel he doesn't understand what I'm feeling (probably doesn't; I can't quite explain it to myself). Work was hectic this week and I had to stay home an extra day because day care was closed. I feel like I'm not pulling my weight. I'm so tired and so frustrated and so upset I just want to curl up into a ball and cry. I don't know what to do anymore! So I guess you could say I've had it with censoring myself on my blog today and trying to keep the peace. This is me, just me, all me. Raw emotion. I'm hurt, I'm lonely and of all beings around me at the moment the one who's reaching out to comfort is the dog. The damn dog!!! I hate dogs and yet Monte still reaches out. So when I'd really like to be mad at him because it's easy to be mad at the dog I can't because he's trying to help me and that's so pathetically sweet I cry all over again.

I'm tired. I guess I'll go clean up the poop now. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me and I why I have these explosive bursts of emotions.