Still blushing but not so red

After a few concerned e-mails and phone calls I thought I'd update you on how I'm feeling since "The Incident on the Side of the Road."

All last week turned out to be a bad week for morning sickness. However once the weekend hit, it wasn't so bad. I'm feeling alright today but I have a theory working on why last week was so awful so I can hopefully have a better time this week. I enjoy what I do but in the last few months my job has become very stressful and rather demanding. Last week I was really feeling the stress of being in the office on my own and having out partners make demands that they didn't realize were stressing me out even more. I am one of those people who tends to carry stress in her stomach (do you see where this is headed?). I'm not saying that stress causes or adds to morning sickness. However, if you're the kind of person where the stress seems to end up in your stomach and cause stomach aches, tension or even vomiting, then to do all that to an already weakened stomach is just a recipe for disaster.

So, with this brewing in my mind, I'm really focused on not being stressed this week. And actually, I'm just trying to get through today without being stressed. This week in an of itself is stressful because we have classes and events on campus that require me to both be here early and also stay a little late. But as other demands come in, I will work hard to reflect or deflect them so that I don't get sick. I'll also try to speak with my boss about this theory, although he's already well aware that I'm stretched to the max and need more help.

We shall see...

Mortified

I'll warn you now... if any of you ladies out there have never been pregnant but would like to have children some day and sometimes get freaked out by pregnancy horror stories the STOP READING NOW.

Now that I've started my 14th week of pregnancy, I'm starting to get the "are you still having morning sickness?" questions more frequently. The answer is a big, fat YES. And today just capped it off as the most mortifying, lowest of the low experiences for me. Every morning after my shower I have some kind of snack. It was yogurt for a while and for the last few weeks it's been an apple. Then on the way to work I'll try to eat some oatmeal while Mr. S drives. Admittedly the last couple days the oatmeal has not been very appealing but it hasn't turned my stomach. This morning though it tasted pretty good so I was eating through most of it before we even got downtown. However, just as we got off the interstate my stomach did some very familiar dances. I opened my can of Izze, hoping that the fizzy juice would help relieve my stomach a little. It didn't. I then sent frantic silent prayers asking God to just let me make it to work. Those were denied. Once it hit me that there was no way out, I told Mr. S to pull over (which I'm sure freaked him out) and then proceeded to be sick on the side of the road, in downtown, with morning commuter traffic driving by, watching with great curiosity I'm sure.

No one ever wants to be sick. But if you're going to be sick and there's no choice about it, I think we all would prefer to have some privacy. And if privacy is denied, could we at least be drunk enough not to notice? But no, not for me! I had to be in full view of the city and stone-cold sober.

Not pleasant. Not at all.

I'm still waiting for the happy part of being pregnant to kick in. Anyone? Anyone??

Breakthrough!!

Just a quick one this morning... while grocery shopping on Saturday morning I was overwhelmed by my desire to have what I call Nikki's Chili (it's a barley and chicken chili recipe one of my college roommates makes and is to DIE for). I've made it several times in the past so I knew what ingredients to pick up for it but at the same time, wondering how this was going to work because this chili has distinctly southwesteren/Mexican flavorings to it.

I through everything into the crockpot when I got home and by dinner time I was ready to chew through the stoneware pot it smelled so good! I had a couple of pretty small portions but not only could I swallow the chili but it stayed down AND tasted SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO GOOD!!!!

My first step toward eating the foods I love again. :D

Heartbeats and head beats

So I had my latest doctor's appointment on Tuesday and, as hoped, we heard the baby's heartbeat!! :) It was a little hard to find at first but eventually my OB found it and it sounds really good. From that, I guess everything is progressing just fine. :D

So from heartbeats I move on to head beats... the kind where I just want to beat my head against a wall. Not from frustration at the stupidity of humanity, more from my own demons that I need to deal with. Since my previous doctor's appointment I have gained a little over a pound. Because I'm still within that first trimester range it's ok but I could tell my doctor would like to see more the next time we see her. This is the point in my pregnancy that I have been dreading for years... the weight gain. I think most people know by now that I struggled with food and body image in high school and college. Even though I eat normally now, almost daily I find that I have to tell myself "I'm not fat, I'm pregnant." I don't think I'll do anything to seriously jeopardize the health and well-being of my child but I do think that gaining the weight I need to will be hard for me.

For now, I approach food things almost analytically. Instead of seeing food for what it is, I think in terms of proteins, carbohydrates, fruits and vegetables. I really try to eat a balanced diet but so far it's been more of a "baby's hungry; are you going to eat that?" ;)

In regards to what baby will let me eat, carbs are not a problem. Proteins can be though. I'm still unsure about some dairy items (although for the moment I can't pass up a chocolate shake) and most meats I'm very careful with. Chicken and hamburger are my safest. Turkey is, unfortunately, questionable. Steak is also not something I seek out. Pork is ok but it depends on what form it's in (BACON!!!!!). And seafood I stay away from entirely. Not so much because of doctor's warnings (are you kidding me? if baby lets me eat something, I eat it!) but because baby doesn't seem too keen on seafood.

As I come to the end of this trimester I sincerely hope with every fiber of my being that my tastes will return to what they were pre-pregnancy. I've always said that if I have a picky eater of a child that I will lose my mind. Hopefully what I can and cannot eat now won't be a reflection on what the baby will want to have once it's here.

*fingers crossed!*

Doctor Visit #2

This afternoon I go for my second official visit with my OB. Last month we had an ultrasound done and got a picture of little Goober (that's what Mr. S and I call the baby right now; it's short for Glob of Goo). I don't think we'll get another ultrasound today, although that'd be cool to have an updated picture! I'm hoping we get to hear the heartbeat. :)

Anyway, since my appointment it toward the end of the day I'll update y'all later this week how it went!

p.s. For the record there is just one baby. We were concerned that it would be twins since it's definitely a possibility given both of our family histories but the doctor checked last month and only found one. Yay!

Almost through!

I'm almost done with the first trimester (can I get a "HALLELUJAH"???). I'm never quite sure if the trimester is 12 or 13 weeks long but Wednesday I enter my 13th week of pregnancy so I'm nearing the end of yucky feelings. I've already been feeling much better but I still have my moments.

I've also discovered I'm extremely prickly when it comes to my food and making sure I get what I want. Case in point: last night we ordered Chinese food from a place we've ordered from before. If you know me at all, you know what I ordered (beef with broccoli). When it came though, there was also mushrooms, onions, carrots, baby corn and water chestnuts in it (this has happened once before). Well, instead of shrugging it off and doing what I did anyway, which was eat only the beef and broccoli, I had Mr S call the restaurant back to complain. Now, there response did nothing to decrease my rising blood pressure since they said that they always make their Beef with Broccoli this way. When they said that I hit the roof. Unfortunately by this point the call had been disconnected, which is probably a good thing because I was ready to speak with a manager. One thing you probably should realize is another menu option is Beef with Mixed Vegetables. Mr. S and I will never order from this restaurant again but part of me is dying to call and ask the difference between these two items.

I really hope I always won't be like this since it's really aggravating to get so mad over something so stupid. Actually, I'm really hoping to have more flexibility in what baby will and will not let me eat in the next couple weeks. I'm willing to continue not drinking coffee if baby will let me have Mexican food again (listen to me, I'm negotiating with a child that's not even here yet!). We shall see... if I can have Mexican again you can look to find me celebrating at the local Denney's, which has THE best nachos I've ever found at any restaurant.

Ok, enough about food. I'm hungry so I'm going to go find some lunch. Happy dining everyone! :)

2007

Now that I can be completely honest in my answers I've stolen yet another something from my sister-in-law's blog (you find the best stuff!):

In 2007…

1. Will you be looking for a new job? Possibly, we'll have to see how things go around here

2. Will you be looking for a new relationship? Nope, pretty darn happy with the one I have now :)

3. New house? We're still working on the old one!

4. What will you do different in 07? Um, have a baby and adjust accordingly!

5. New Years resolution? Why make a promise to myself I can't keep?

6. What will you not be doing in 07? Drinking

7. Any trips planned? Yup! Once the baby's here we hope to make a tour of the state in which most of our families live while I'm still on maternity leave

8. Wedding plans? NO thank GOD

9. Major thing on your calendar? Only July 19 when I may be giving birth

10. What can't you wait for? For this trimester to be over

11. What would you like to see happen different? I hope things change with my boss and that work will be a little more flexible for me and less demanding (since i'm shifting my focus to more family instead of more career)

12. What about yourself will you be changing? My waistline

13. What happened in 06 that you didn't think would ever happen? Didn't think I'd get pregnant in 2006

14. Will you be nicer to the people you care about? I certainly hope so but if I'm, God forbid, not can we blame it on hormones?

15. Will you dress differently this year than you did in 06? Since I'm entering the glorious world of maternity clothes, yes

16. Will you start or quit drinking? Well I just won't be drinking this year since the idea of an FAS baby is not appealing and neither is a good idea to consume alcoholic beverages while breast feeding but does that mean I'm officially quitting drinking? no.

17. Will you better your relationship with your family? Hope so. There are a few family members that I hope to get a little closer with over the next year

18. Will you do charity work? Nice thought but probably not.

19. Will you go to bars? Nope

20. Will you be nice to people you don't know? Seeing as how I'm in customer relations it's my job to be nice and bubbly to people I don't know

21. Do you expect 07 to be a good year for you? I hope so! Little nervous about becoming a mommy

22. How much did you change from this time last year till now? I think some of my perspectives have changed on certain issues, particularly in the last three months. Oh yeah, and I didn't have a baby inside me this time last year

23. Do you plan on having a child? I'd love to have more children but so far I'm not wild about pregnancy. I certainly support adoption though! :)

24. Will you still be friends with the same people you are friends with now? Hope so! I'll certainly do my best to stay friends with everyone.

25. Major lifestyle changes? Um, hi, baby's on the way! Talk about a lifestyle change...

26. Will you be moving? Not unless something happens to the house we're in (please God no!)

27. What will you make sure doesn't happen in 07 that happened in 06? We will not be buying a house since we already have one

28. What are your New Years Eve plans? We're past New Year's and we spent the evening at a friend's apartment but were home in bed by midnight

29. Will you have someone to kiss at midnight? Yes and we fell asleep shortly after. I know, boring! ;)

30. One wish for 07? A healthy baby and smooth adjustment process

It's out now

By now I think it's pretty well out of the bag that I'm pregnant. :D And boy am I glad y'all know now because now I can talk about how I'm really feeling! And of course you know I'm going to start with the issue that's been plaguing me most over the last few weeks...

Let me just say that the term "morning sickness" is totally misleading and it SUCKS!! Before I had always thought that I'd probably be sick in the morning or evening but would feel basically fine the rest of the day. WRONG! Morning sickness means I will be sick (and by sick I do mean running for the bathroom) at some point during the day or night. And when I'm not in the bathroom I will feel queasy and nauseous and wonder if I should be running for the bathroom. It should be termed 24-hour sickness. And the ironic thing is that the best thing to help with the nausea is to eat. Now, the last thing I normally feel like doing when my stomach is upset is eating but it really works. So I've been snacking on things constantly.

Don't get me wrong, I'm thrilled that I'm pregnant and super excited about our baby. But I've also been learning a lot about pregnancy and just how much that changes your body and even your outlook on certain issues (I won't go into those issues now, we'll save that for a later post).

But overall things are good. I'm feeling better all the time; every week gets just a little bit better. I still have my moments but it's not as frequent and now I feel like I'm regaining some control over my life again. I can eat some meats now, I can cook a little and am able to clean more frequently. A month ago I didn't have the energy or the stomach to do any of these things. So it's nice. :)

I'm pretty open about how I'm feeling, especially since this is all new to me, so if anyone has questions please ask. I'll try to update a bit more frequently now and, if I'm especially talented, may even post some pictures of The Incredible Expanding Me. ;)