Final Days Thoughts

My due date is in 10 days.

Am I freaking out? Yes. Am I excited? Yes. Am I terrified? Yes. There are so many thoughts running through my head right now about the baby and how life is going to change.

I'm freaking out about a lot of things right now. Most of them center around getting the nursery ready (stupid humidity is delaying the stain from drying on the floor) and making sure we have all the "necessary" pre-baby supplies. Honestly though, we have the pack 'n' play, some sheets and diapers so if he decided to come tonight we'd be "ready" for him. However, I'd really wanted to have a few other things so yesterday we made a major trip to Target and Babies R Us for some of the larger things I felt would be awfully handy (you know, like a stroller, crib mattress and rocking chair). So as soon as the floor is finished (pray to God by the end of this week) we can set up the room and get things arranged for him (and get the baby stuff out of our dining room/basement/sunroom).

Of course I'm excited about the baby too! I cannot WAIT to see who he looks like. I really hope he takes after his daddy with at least one dimple. ;) We've also decided this poor kid is going to have freakishly long toes. Not only are the men in Mr. S' family "famous" for their oddly long toes but I also have rather long, skinny toes. I hope he also has long slender fingers (not boney like mine are though). I'm also anxious to share his name (YES, we've decided and NO we're not telling til he's here). I'm also really looking forward to cuddling with him. I have this mental image of me in the rocker holding this little person all curled up on my chest and that makes me smile. :)

I am absolutely terrified about labor. I have a pretty low pain tolerance and I know that this will be perhaps The most physically painful thing I will ever do in my life. Now, I'm not going to be one of those women who thinks she's going to get an epidural the moment she walks in the hospital door. I really don't know what's going to happen and how I will respond to it. I have nothing against an epidural (other than a needle is involved) and will most likely try a variety of pain killers. I'd like to avoid having a c-section but if that's not possible then obviously I'll be numbed from the chest down (epidural or spinal). Of course there's always the possibility that I'm stronger and tougher than I think I am and will get through most of the labor with minimal drugs. Who knows????? I'm trying to keep an open mind about the whole experience. I just wish it weren't such an unknown thing for me! The anticipation is killing me.

Clearly my brain is swirling with all kinds of things. At this point I'm trying to prepare for the remote possibility of delivering early but also be ready for him waiting until the last possible second to be forced out. Only time will tell and we'll keep you posted! :)