Yuck

I have a hernia.

Discovered it Saturday morning in the shower and practically flipped out because I didn't know what it was. We had several theories but when I went to the doctor yesterday, she confirmed a hernia.

So! What does that mean? Well, that means a dazed kind of shock for me. It means surgery. Soon. Like next week kind of soon. I met with a surgeon today and it's scheduled for next Thursday afternoon. Honestly, it is what it is and I'd rather not wait. Just do this and get it over with. But the timing is really awful. Work is just gearing up again, I've been really thinking about teach Sunday School, which starts next Sunday, choir, Praise Band, cleaning up a post-vacation house...I mean...THIS SUCKS!!!

I'm scared. I'm freaked out about how much I'm inconveniencing other people. I have to stay the night in the hospital. My surgery is set for the afternoon but I am itching to call and change it to a morning time just to avoid staying the night (which probably will cost more). I don't like this. I don't want this. WHY ME???? What does this mean for my future? For having another baby?? Stupid, stupid hernia. I hate you.